The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Antonio the Sixth]

Well I'm glad a random 20some dude on the internet can tell my mental condition better than a professional neurologist.

[Oakvale]

Well I'm glad a random 20some dude on the internet can tell my mental condition better than a professional neurologist.

No no no, I just meant the fact that three people empty quoted it within the space of a few minutes.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Well I'm glad a random 20some dude on the internet can tell my mental condition better than a professional neurologist.

No no no, I just meant the fact that three people empty quoted it within the space of a few minutes.

Ah I see, point taken. I wouldn't be particularly surprised to learn that people with Asperger's are overrepresented on an internet forum, though.

[IceSpear]

LOL to Polls_PuffPass Talk about overconfidence, it's lame & painful. Boy are you for a nasty surprise. One, we Republicans are gonna slam Hillary big time...but guess if she's YOUR! sacrificial lamb, I'm pretty cool with that! By the way, the way I see it, Jeb Bush will do as well or better than his dad. He's not the loon you are praying and hoping for.  Hopefully you won't be so disappointed by the outcome,  that you will be prompted to walk away from David Leip's forum. But hey one has to encounter loss in order to appreciate victory and the laurels the same shall endow.

[Sol]

As a nerd, I find it personally reprehensible

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Well I'm glad a random 20some dude on the internet can tell my mental condition better than a professional neurologist.

No no no, I just meant the fact that three people empty quoted it within the space of a few minutes.

Ah I see, point taken. I wouldn't be particularly surprised to learn that people with Asperger's are overrepresented on an internet forum, though.

I think every mental disorder known to man other than sex addiction is overrepresented on this forum.

[politicus]

Context:

Always good to see Pope Francis continuing to reach out to society's outcasts.

[Joe Republic]

I'm not trying to go anorexic or anything

You cannot say I am not serious by anything I said.  Everybody should have a cheat meal every now and then.

Yes, just like rehabilitated sex offenders deserve the occasional boob-squeeze without society getting all judgemental.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

I agree with the Pope.  The Bible says "spare not the rod".  As long as you do it with dignity and not excessively hard, it is acceptable.  A father who spanks his son, loves his son.  My generation and those before me were all spanked as children and the vast majority of us turned out a lot better than if we had just been given time out.

[morgieb]

I don't believe so.  I believe the Antichrist will come from Europe.  Plus, outside of the United States, Jordan is Israel's biggest ally which is odd since Jordan is an Arab country.  One of the requirements for the Antichrist is he must hate Israel.  King Abdullah likes Israel, so he's out of the running.

[© tweed]

I don't believe so.  I believe the Antichrist will come from Europe.  Plus, outside of the United States, Jordan is Israel's biggest ally which is odd since Jordan is an Arab country.  One of the requirements for the Antichrist is he must hate Israel.  King Abdullah likes Israel, so he's out of the running.

the people who spout this kind of theology are baffling. (Bushie's just spouting back sh**t he's heard as best he can -- as do most conservative low-church protestants) any reading of Paul (they usually prefer Paul to the Gospels) shows that he degraded the concept of the redemption of Israel as (what we would call) a nation-state... Israel "triumphant with God" now cuts across the traditional Jew-Gentile boundary, Gentiles 'grafted in' as descendants of Abraham.  how could the post-1947 Israel nation-state have any theological significance?

[politicus]

[Ban my account ffs!]

Well I'm glad a random 20some dude on the internet can tell my mental condition better than a professional neurologist.

Do keep in mind that Oakvale knows you better than your neurologist. You spent a lot more time talking to him.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I don't believe so.  I believe the Antichrist will come from Europe.  Plus, outside of the United States, Jordan is Israel's biggest ally which is odd since Jordan is an Arab country.  One of the requirements for the Antichrist is he must hate Israel.  King Abdullah likes Israel, so he's out of the running.

the people who spout this kind of theology are baffling. (Bushie's just spouting back sh**t he's heard as best he can -- as do most conservative low-church protestants) any reading of Paul (they usually prefer Paul to the Gospels) shows that he degraded the concept of the redemption of Israel as (what we would call) a nation-state... Israel "triumphant with God" now cuts across the traditional Jew-Gentile boundary, Gentiles 'grafted in' as descendants of Abraham.  how could the post-1947 Israel nation-state have any theological significance?

I think it's mostly based on a decidedly non-literal interpretation of Revelation.

[Oakvale]

One thing that rarely gets discussed is that the TPP would be really terrible for stuff like manga, video games, tentacle porn, and other great cultural stuff produced in Japan, as well as other material like software and technology. The copyright provisions would ban parallel importation - the transport of copyrighted material across national borders - and would prosecute any and all copyright infringement regardless of whether the copyright-holder actually objected. This crap is reason to reject the treaty.

[IceSpear]

Wealthy condom manufacturer

Context.

[Morning in Atlas]

Freedom Statue, but sadly created by a totalitarian state.

[politicus]

Context:

FF I love kangaroos

[Antonio the Sixth]

Unless watching the movie is necessary to secure a date with a sufficiently desirable woman, I probably won't.

That wouldn't be an awkward first date at all.  Girl who wants to see Fifty Shades of Grey on a first date, guy who used the phrase "secure a date with a sufficiently desirable woman.  And, then they actually go see Fifty Shades of Grey on a first date...  Jesus Christ.

[IceSpear]

Right, if you were born in an Abenaki family who worshipped Tabaldak, the creator God of the Algonquian people, you would have become a hipster Christian who was obsessed with Christian post-hardcore music and hated South Park.

[Beet]

Unless watching the movie is necessary to secure a date with a sufficiently desirable woman, I probably won't.

That wouldn't be an awkward first date at all.  Girl who wants to see Fifty Shades of Grey on a first date, guy who used the phrase "secure a date with a sufficiently desirable woman.  And, then they actually go see Fifty Shades of Grey on a first date...  Jesus Christ.

Came here to post this.

[Tender Branson]

Absolutely hilarious:

The basement-thing isn't that big really.

One day you will have to take responsibility, my friend

[MATTROSE94]

Kanye is the greatest artist of our generation.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Exactly how could God's wrath make Alabama any worse than it already is?

This could also go in Simple Truths.

[King]

I have a very interesting plan........

1. Get rid of the Entire Tax Code....... for the Wealthy. Replace the Taxes on the Wealthy with a 10 percent Sales Tax. So Every time a Wealthy Guy shops, he will need to provide his personal income to the Cashier. I'll define Wealthy as having a Income of more then 200,000 dollars a year.

2. Now For People who have incomes below that amount, 2 Tax brackets will be set. One at 5 percent for 0 to 50,000 and 10 percent for 50,000 to 200,000. Now these people will not pay the Sales Tax...... The Wealthy will pay the Sales Tax. The Wealthy will not pay the Income Tax but the people having a income of below 200,000 dollars will. Deductions and Loopholes will be eliminated for the Wealthy. For People having below the 200,000 dollars threshold, There will be a family deduction.