Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[Joe Republic]

How about you wait for her to bring it up?  You'll finally know what she's been doing on those odd "fishing trips" depending if she's angry or apologetic.

Bring it up?!  Whatever it is, it sounds nasty.

[Meeker]

Context...

too close to call

[Keystone Phil]

Pat Kennedy.  Seems like a great guy to drink with.

[Ban my account ffs!]

I would be played by whoever played Agrippa on Rome.

No, you wouldn't because you're not in the movie.

well, fuck...

[Lunar]

Where is Bob Graham anyway?

In a mental institution, taking copious notes of his day-to-day activities working with other patients.

Ok that one was actually funny, maybe he hasn't lost 100% of his touch as I recently accused him.

[YRABNNRM]

I would be played by whoever played Agrippa on Rome.

No, you wouldn't because you're not in the movie.

[Sensei]

You need to stop putting Christ first in your life. He should be fifth or sixth at best.

[Magic 8-Ball]

On Obama's chances for reelection:

A lot of it will hinge on how he handles the Israeli attack on Iran.

Don't forget the North Korean attack on South Korea.  Oh, and the Prussian attack on Muscovia, too.  And the Romulan attempt to implode Earth as well; that's going to be the real test for Obama.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

My ex sternly warned me tonight that if things do work out in that direction, we'd better wait for anything until after the wedding or she will kick my derrier.

Hey, watch your language, mister.

She actually used the actual three-letter donkey, @$$, I just modified it.

[King]

My ex sternly warned me tonight that if things do work out in that direction, we'd better wait for anything until after the wedding or she will kick my derrier.

Hey, watch your language, mister.

She actually used the actual three-letter donkey, @$$, I just modified it.

I couldn't possibly manage being like BushOklahoma.  No offense to him.  He's a very nice guy.

But being so clean and virginal all the time takes so much effort.

[Lief 🗽]

...and ruin his chance at going to heaven?   i will not be a party to that.

[The Mikado]

Have a fun and safe trip!

Yes, use protection.

My form of protection will be a big roll of duct tape and a pole or a tree.  It works wonders!!

Hey, whatever floats your boat. Just don't pull a David Carradine!

  Good ol' States. 

Though I have to say that I usually find BushOK baiting rather bad form.

[minionofmidas]

My ex sternly warned me tonight that if things do work out in that direction, we'd better wait for anything until after the wedding or she will kick my derrier.

Hey, watch your language, mister.

She actually used the actual three-letter donkey, @$$, I just modified it.

I couldn't possibly manage being like BushOklahoma.  No offense to him.  He's a very nice guy.

But being so clean and virginal all the time takes so much effort.

He should have taken some of that effort to learn how to spell derrière, though.

[YRABNNRM]

Takes me back to the fateful Summer of 2001.

[Tetro Kornbluth]

Takes me back to the fateful Summer of 2001.

Beaten to it.

Possibly the most Naso quote of all time.

[tmthforu94]

WHY DO YOU EXIST?

Because my dad's sperm entered my mom's egg cell thus creating a zygote and nine months later I crawled out of her uterus?

[Kaine for Senate '18]

“It would take an act of God for me to not get in now,” Sestak told a Democratic State Committeeman Saturday morning within earshot of reporters.

Hearing his quote read back to him, Sestak cringed.

“That sounds blasphemous,” he said, not denying that he said it—and has said it before.

In other words, a call from Obama.

[Keystone Phil]

Which adjective is the most hilarious?

My answer is Nancy Pelosi.  Classy, articulate, and a GILF.

[Keystone Phil]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Yeah...definitely not why I'm here. lol

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Rethink that

Well, ya got Yao Ming, but most Asian guys I know or come across are a lot shorter than me and I'm 5-10.

[YRABNNRM]

Just run an ad of all his tweets.

It's Iowa.  They just got Geocities there last week, they'd just be confused.

[TeePee4Prez]

Flyers and BushOK are gonna become fast friends.  I can already tell.

I don't get it. Is Flyers doing some kind of "asshole pretending to be sympathetic while really being pathetic"-routine as a joke of some kind or is he really doing it and thinking that it's not obvious? Strange, either way.

Huh?

[Sensei]

Is this a place where they indoctrinate people?

[MaxQue]

I don't see what is funny in what I said.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Pure opebo:

I have not been able to decide as I don't know which one has more hookers.

[Eraserhead]

Pure opebo:

I have not been able to decide as I don't know which one has more hookers.

Accept no substitutes.