The Comedy Goldmine

[Antonio the Sixth]

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Ben-gaz-eee.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

unless the media were to turn upon [Obama], and that is deeply unlikely.

Uh.

They've turned upon him since 2008.

Yup you're right.  My God MSMBC has just turn into a GOP lapdog... kinda sickening isn't it?

[Antonio the Sixth]

I didn't know China was an orange avatar'd Atlas poster.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Russ Powers: 588
Flo: 0

(the appeal of a Russ Powers presidency causes Canada to choose to join the United States, adding 50 electoral votes to the electoral college).

[Linus Van Pelt]

For some reason I feel like you've told a similar dog anecdote at some point in the past.

Dogs hate ingress

[Joe Republic]

To be honest, the Green Party is more suiting to his (Sander's) views.

Too bad he can't get elected that way.

I would be so sure. This link says quite the opposite.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Maybe I should put up a pic of my hairy chest, with text below stating "I'm here for you RUSS POWERS."

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

August 18, 2017
Khabarovsk, Russia

Vladimir Putin perishes in photo opp gone wrong
It was supposed a simple photo opportunity with a Siberian Tiger, 141 Kilometers of Khabarovsk, Russia for President Vladimir Putin. Instead it turned into a disaster as the Tiger mauled the Russian President, resulting in his death at age sixty-three. Funeral arrangements have not been released to Russian or Western Media. Demitry Medvedev will be named interim President ahead of the 2018 elections.

[Sopranos Republican]

I'm dying right now. lololol

[windjammer]

Yes, because you're such a reliable person with a startling record of keeping full-time jobs, Bushie.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

California - Summary Vote Results
June 11, 2012 - 08:32PM ET
U.S. Senate - Open Primary
21993 of 21993 Precincts Reporting - 100%
Max Winners=2

Feinstein, Dianne (i)	Dem	2,071,501	49%
Emken, Elizabeth	GOP	530,423	13%
Hughes, Dan	GOP	279,735	7%
Williams, Rick	GOP	136,749	3%
Taitz, Orly	GOP	133,087	3%

Perhaps I don't understand the jungle primary but where's the other 28%?

It's all there when you look at the percentage points

Do some quick addition: it adds up to 78. There's 28% missing.

78+28=106

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am NOT annoying.
I am NOT a fool.
I am a concerned American.
The questions that I put are "what if questions" on the 2016 thread, because 2016 is A WIDE OPEN CONTEST. This is not a ONE-PERSON RACE.
I would support a Hillary Clinton candidacy, in 2016.
THE REPUBLICANS HAVE A WIDE OPEN FIELD!
Why wouldn't Pawlenty or Pence run?
IT'S THE AMPLE OPPORTUNITY!
Michael Reagan, Mike Pence, and Tim Pawlenty are all personalities with considerable political skill and NO ONE should be surprised if we wake up on Wednesday, November 9, 2016, and find out that one of these men are the 45th president of the United States.
I AM NOT ANNOYING.
IF I am annoying anyone, I AM SORRY BECAUSE I CARE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS NATION. We need alternatives.
IM SORRY.
I'M TRULY SORRY.

Literal LOL

[windjammer]

no, of course not.

his threads are quite a bit better than:  'opebo vs. raul castro'  or 'is ingress the best thing since christian hipster emoviolence?'

[windjammer]

So I'm not needed?

BREAKING NEWS: BRONZ4141 IS NOT NEEDED

[DINGO Joe]

California - Summary Vote Results
June 11, 2012 - 08:32PM ET
U.S. Senate - Open Primary
21993 of 21993 Precincts Reporting - 100%
Max Winners=2

Feinstein, Dianne (i)	Dem	2,071,501	49%
Emken, Elizabeth	GOP	530,423	13%
Hughes, Dan	GOP	279,735	7%
Williams, Rick	GOP	136,749	3%
Taitz, Orly	GOP	133,087	3%

Perhaps I don't understand the jungle primary but where's the other 28%?

It's all there when you look at the percentage points

Do some quick addition: it adds up to 78. There's 28% missing.

78+28=106

I guess what makes the whole thing a bit sadder is that the original set of numbers adds up to 75

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

California - Summary Vote Results
June 11, 2012 - 08:32PM ET
U.S. Senate - Open Primary
21993 of 21993 Precincts Reporting - 100%
Max Winners=2

Feinstein, Dianne (i)	Dem	2,071,501	49%
Emken, Elizabeth	GOP	530,423	13%
Hughes, Dan	GOP	279,735	7%
Williams, Rick	GOP	136,749	3%
Taitz, Orly	GOP	133,087	3%

Perhaps I don't understand the jungle primary but where's the other 28%?

It's all there when you look at the percentage points

Do some quick addition: it adds up to 78. There's 28% missing.

78+28=106

I guess what makes the whole thing a bit sadder is that the original set of numbers adds up to 75

Anyone can make a typo.  I just found the whole exchange funny. 

and yes, those numbers add up to 78.  no, they don't actually.

[Linus Van Pelt]

The really weird thing about that exchange is that it appears that Vega actually gave a correct explanation with a full sentence, but then his/her post was deleted in badgate's quotation just enough to make it appear that it didn't. This is the original:

California - Summary Vote Results
June 11, 2012 - 08:32PM ET
U.S. Senate - Open Primary
21993 of 21993 Precincts Reporting - 100%
Max Winners=2

Feinstein, Dianne (i)	Dem	2,071,501	49%
Emken, Elizabeth	GOP	530,423	13%
Hughes, Dan	GOP	279,735	7%
Williams, Rick	GOP	136,749	3%
Taitz, Orly	GOP	133,087	3%

Perhaps I don't understand the jungle primary but where's the other 28%?

It's all there when you look at the percentage points other candidates, not listed there,  received.

[Joe Republic]

BREAKING: Earthquake reported near Our Dear Friend. Now we know what happens when BushOK walks.

Temps will be near 60 with bright blue sunshine.

Now maybe I'm just a spoiled urbanite but I have no idea how that one works.

This explains Bushie's peculiar lifestyle: He's literally living on another planet.

We're shaking around here.  2 earthquakes in 2 hours.  3 earthquakes in 5 hours.  4 in 24 hours.  The last one shook my entire house and felt like someone crashed into my house.  The last two were centered just a mile from my house!

A clear sign that your planet is doomed, Bushie.  Just as Krypton, a planet with a red sun, was destroyed due to the arrogance of its inhabitants, so will your blue sunned world be destroyed.  Just as Jor-El saved his only son by evacuating him from Krypton, your only recourse at this time is to launch Blondie into space, so that at least one inhabitant of your world will have life somewhere else.

Perhaps on Earth, Blondie will have superpowers.

sounds like a bushie excuse.

today is sunday so im guessing the excuse will be granny had her 4th cousin over and it would be rude not to spend 10 hours with them.

[badgate]

The really weird thing about that exchange is that it appears that Vega actually gave a correct explanation with a full sentence, but then his/her post was deleted in badgate's quotation just enough to make it appear that it didn't. This is the original:

California - Summary Vote Results
June 11, 2012 - 08:32PM ET
U.S. Senate - Open Primary
21993 of 21993 Precincts Reporting - 100%
Max Winners=2

Feinstein, Dianne (i)	Dem	2,071,501	49%
Emken, Elizabeth	GOP	530,423	13%
Hughes, Dan	GOP	279,735	7%
Williams, Rick	GOP	136,749	3%
Taitz, Orly	GOP	133,087	3%

Perhaps I don't understand the jungle primary but where's the other 28%?

It's all there when you look at the percentage points other candidates, not listed there,  received.

Vega's reply was poorly structured, as can be seen above. Had Vega simply said "The bit candidates who make up the missing 25% aren't listed" (or something like that) it would have been fine. But what Vega actually replied with was essentially untrue, as it's NOT "all there when you look at [it]"

[Napoleon]

Well, that's enough Atlas for now.

[Simfan34]

Wow. You would look a lot like Cuyahoga County Executive Ed FitzGerald if you shaved off the mustache. And that's a huge compliment.

...?

I cracked up, but I have no clue why.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm sure Kim Jong Un will take heed of the opinion of a useless spammer on the internets and start holding free elections now.

[LeBron]

XD

It's funny since it was posted in the "books that every Atlas member should read" thread and this was posted in the middle of a whole bunch of scholarly books. Just seems funny.

[Joe Republic]

I'm sure Kim Jong Un will take heed of the opinion of a useless spammer on the internets and start holding free elections now.

Kim Jong Un, pictured below, filled with shame upon his examination of a scathing editorial featured in the New York Express