The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[bedstuy]

An apt term directed against our Hedonistic Whiggish elite who thinks the current brand of secular humanistic atomistic individualism and neoliberal economics is the cutting edge wave of human history.

Do you want balsamic or 1000 island dressing on that word salad?

[Simfan34]

Is he Nigerian?

[Lief 🗽]

do people actually put thousand island dressing on salads? that's disgusting...

[bedstuy]

do people actually put thousand island dressing on salads? that's disgusting...

No idea, I only get balsamic like a sane person.

[solarstorm]

Zis is the humour, ja? On ze April Fool's Day, you are saying ze one thing that is not true, und zen, ven ze people are believing this, you reveal that it is not true. A ha ha ha!

Thank you newbie for confirming another of my prejudices about Teutons. х

[Antonio the Sixth]

Yes, I am but it doesn't work for Fascism due to it's economic nationalism. Though I would like to say that I don't want an argument about what fascism is, so let's just condemn the retards who are fascists and end this argument.

[Brewer]

Modern American politics is way too extreme nowadays. If only there was some sort of centrist pragmatic party. Like the Fascists for instance.

Quite a thread.

[memphis]

I owe it to myself to put all my eggs in the basket of this new job.  

[Clarko95 📚💰📈]

I just choked on my own saliva laughing at this:

interesting FACT: the z is NAZI stands for ZOCIALISM, learn your history libtards

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Incredible what kind of stuff turns up in our basements:

The 300-year-old skeleton of a camel used by the Ottomans to invade Vienna has been identified by Austrian researchers after its discovery in a refuse pit.

The complete, preserved skeleton was rescued from an abandoned pit in Tulln, a Lower Austrian town on the banks of the Danube in 2006, prior to the construction of a shopping centre.

Researchers believe that the male camel was used as a riding animal during the 17th-century Osmanic-Habsburg wars, when the Ottoman empire sought to expand throughout central Europe. The animal may have died during the Siege of Vienna in 1683.

The findings were published yesterday by scientists from the University of Veterinary Medicine in Vienna in scientific journal PLOS One.

The finding is unique in being the first complete camel skeleton to be discovered in central Europe.

“The animal was certainly exotic for the people of Tulln. They probably didn’t know what to feed it or whether one could eat it,” said Galik.

Since the entire skeleton was preserved, Galik said the camel could have been traded as part of an exchange rather than being killed for food.

The Ottoman empire emerged in the 14th century and peaked under Suleiman the Magnificent in the sixteenth century. The empire twice failed to take Vienna, the second time in 1683. It was effectively extinguished in the aftermath of the first world war.

http://www.newsweek.com/300-year-old-ottoman-camel-skeleton-discovered-austria-319010

[Sopranos Republican]

Yes seriously. It being Easter people wanted to celebrate beyond the normal, and got out to the front and start actually dancing and pogoing and doing the whole fist pump thing. And at on point one guy got up and crowd surfed. So yes, my church is cooler than many metal shows. Haha! Unfortunately I didn't get that recorded but I got plenty of other clips. Man imagine if someone had told me when I was confirmed a long time ago church could be this cool. That I would be all sweaty in a hoodie, band shirt and ripped jeans jumping around...and it's not a show, it's church! It even concluded with the crowd chanting ONE MORE SONG over and over to the band that did an encore. This is simply great.

wow between bushie getting banned and this, it looks like God is really showing off today to mark His son's birth or whatever!

I just f***ing died.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Jao is a very old form of Jehovah and so I laughed when I went on my goat God rant because I was talking about Jehovah.

Then r2d2 responds with Jao! And giggles like a school girl at my craziness even though he narrowed my point down to one word.  

Thost thinks he's getting messages from Jao.  Which makes all this weird 'Obamacare requires sacrifice 2500 from each country' so weird  because I think Thost thinks the lives Obamacare saves here must be made up elsewhere.

Which is both weird, scary, and jao!

Jao comes from Greek Tau (the letter t, like a cross ) but that comes from the Phoenician X, which was the representative letter of their god Saturn.  We know Saturn as Satan.  Now we know why Jesus died on the 'cross' (t or x).

And if you don't believe me, you'll find Greek and Hebrew both come from Phoenician who kind of are an anomaly in history.

Somehow our God leads back to Satan...the one with all the rules and sacrificing and killing in the old testament.

This really blew my mind.  Jehovah isn't the father Jesus referred to.  At least that's my interpretation.  And im probably wrong.

Anyway I know...not the right thread

[King]

jao

[Mr. Smith]

he's good people

Surprisingly funny, in spite of it probably being messed up.

[Sol]

and their callous disregard for the human rights of unborn children is frighteningly similar to their past support of slavery and Jim Crow.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

I'm bla-a-a-ack!

ftfy

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I was pretty horrified when I read this article: http://www.buzzfeed.com/adamserwer/how-mens-rights-leader-paul-elam-turned-being-a-deadbeat-dad#.ho08eAYeO. The whole purpose of the MRA movement was to show that men have rights too and that feminism has often created an ideology for women with BPD and HPD to cloak their disorders in. But that doesn't mean that MRAs should stoop to this same level of abuse, which by all accounts, he has done himself.

[Mr. Smith]

This thread nicely completes the dialectical framework: you've got a thesis, and antithesis and a synthesis.

[Oakvale]

At least Netanyahu isn't a criminal.

[King]

Yesterday in one of my college classes, I noticed that my professor was wearing a pair of Lucky Brand jeans (with a bow tie!), and ever since I can't get it out of my head.  So I decided I would vent by doing this poll.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

The McAuliffe hatred on here had nothing to with him being an insider and had everything to do with the Obamabots disdain for his support of Hillary in 08.

[Oakvale]

ShadowOfTheWave's easy transformation from dullard Romney obsessive to dullard Hillary obsessive is actually far more entertaining than the regrettable content of most of his posts.

[Mr. Smith]

No, after college I will find 100 people who share my exact positions on every issue and we'll move to North Dakota and not have any contact with the outside world.

[King]

I agree Hillary is not winning Virginia. Even with the governor of Virginia on the ticket she will not win Virginia. And in 2020 with a  President Hillary on the ballot its possible were looking at the following:

[Joe Republic]

Bushie wearing a mustache he can't remove all make sense now. He's actually from Bizarro Atlas--where everyone has a mustache and is an obese unemployed moderate hero--and fell through the wormhole. Now, we just need to find Bizarro Update, rarely posted update by a clean shaven Real Bushie, stuck in Bizarro land, a vegan bodybuilder who only posts on Bizarro Atlas after work and his daily gym routine.